KÁRI - MY SCHOOL EXPERIENCE 

Elementary

I didn‘t think much about school at the time, it was just something that had to be done. I didn‘t dread school, although I often wished for bad weather or a sick teacher, and I wasn‘t excited for it, except maybe a few gym classes a year. My early memories of school are mostly from when I was playing at recess. I had some bad teachers but I didn’t realize they were bad until some years later. Teachers not caring at all for what they were teaching, just telling us to open our books to carry on with our math from last time and teachers having a very apparent rating of their students, which everyone was aware of but no one mentioned in class, this was normalized. I have some memories of good teachers and interesting assignments as well. I remember when a teacher let us go outside to read on a seldom seen sunny day, I remember the first time I felt involved in the class, when a teacher asked us to debate a topic in class which we could prepare for at home, and then again later when we were supposed to write an essay about ANY animal we wanted. This was when I was about 11 or 12, and it was the first time I could choose in some way what to do in my education, I remember thinking this was amazing. These were some of the few times I remember enjoying school, but sadly I have not had many of these moments. The years passed by in this manner until in 8th grade (when I was 13 or 14) and people started saying that now it really mattered, this was when how you do in school would influence your future, what schools you could get into depended on your grades from this point. I was told that the schools that I would move onto let you choose more what you learn, but now it really mattered to work hard, there would be more homework etc. This all sounded very exciting (except the homework part) so I and my friends decided to take school a bit more seriously, we decided we would not joke around in class and try to keep out of trouble. My classmates started thinking about what school to go to and what to learn and for the first time grades became competitive. However, soon after the start of this “new era”, I and many of my friends gave up on taking school seriously, I was aware of my grades because I wanted to get into a good school but most of the classes were just too boring to hold my attention. I only cared about doing well in math and gym, because they were not as boring and I knew I could do well in them. School for the next 3 years was mostly just being half focused in class, half wandering. I never did my homework but often found my way around it by copying or trying to do it fast in-between classes, I figured out that studying a bit for the tests was enough to get good grades so that’s all I did. Finally graduation came and I got into the school that I wanted to get into but unfortunately my friends all ended up in other schools.

Starting high school (MH)

My mother had told me to prepare for the new school, not academically but socially. She told me to think about what kind of person I wanted to be and how I would make friends in the school, but thinking of these things seemed ridiculous to me so I didn’t worry about it. Then the chaos of starting school began, everyone was worrying about who to befriend, where to sit and so on, but I had no interest or experience in thinking of these sorts of things so I just kept going with my usual routine, went to classes and retreated to the calmness of solitude when I had the chance. This of course, complemented by my social skills, did not lead to making a lot of new friends. On top of that I soon discovered that my studies weren’t quite as exciting as I had been expecting. It was the same as before, the teacher speaking about something to about 30 people who are only interested in knowing if this will be on the test or not, then finally the teacher asks you to move information from point A to point B with some specific technique. There was no experimenting, debating or exploring, we only got dull facts that had been accepted by some committee hammered into our heads (until they fell out again, about a week after the test). I got bored with my classes and had sloppy attendance, but I finished the first semester.

Second semester (MH)

I had new teachers and new classes, but both I and school stayed the same. I found my new classes just as uninteresting as the old ones and I started skipping them more and more often. In my new carved out free time I spent a lot of time in bed and playing videogames, but I also did some thinking, and the more I thought about school, the more convinced I got about its pointlessness. I looked at the courses I had to take to graduate and discovered that very few of them were of my interest, some of them I didn’t mind, but most seemed like a complete waste of time. This of course didn’t inspire me to attend and I had no social reasons to keep me in school, so in the end, I stopped attending altogether. I was of the opinion that it was merely a test of obedience, school wasn’t there to produce thinking people, but dumb robots. Education was a tool made to shove you into the correct institution that dealt with some pigeon holed topic, on their terms, not yours. And these institutions and corporations were pushing the world, with your help, to a cliff that drops straight down to hell. I wanted none of it, but occasionally I dreamt of building the wings required to save us from the drop.

Then summer came

I got a job for the first half of the summer since I didn’t have much to do and I had nothing against earning some money. Many of my friends were abroad at the time so not a lot was happening. My parents mentioned the possibility of moving to Canada and I didn’t mind leaving Iceland. Then my job ended, my friends returned and the summer really began. I spent a lot of time with my friends and there were many parties. I made new friends and got to know a lot of people from my school. By the end of the summer I realized I would miss home, but it had been decided, me, my parents and the boys would move to Toronto while Eyja went to school in Denmark. I tried to convince my parents to let me stay at home, I said I would attend school now that I knew some people there, plus two of my friends were planning on transferring, but they didn’t trust me after last year (probably the right choice) so I went to Canada.

Toronto

I showed up to school a bit late (week or two) because of the traveling and placement exams. The people in the school were super nice and despite my lack of initiative I was beginning to know people after about two weeks. Even some of the classes seemed like they could be interesting so I decided to give it a chance, even though I was sad about leaving Iceland. The students all belonged to some group, it was like in a movie, so the next few months were a social roller coaster. I was invited to hang out with a bunch of different groups and I met a lot of really nice people but it always felt a bit strange. First there was the Weird Good Kid Squad, but we didn’t share a lot of interests and they were too caught up with school. Next up were the Misfits, who often misunderstood my sarcasm and once told me that I had to decide on what group to commit to. Then there was the Popular but Mostly White Kid Crew who were worried about social standards and told me about the correct way of asking someone to the prom. And finally the Stoners, who at least didn’t care about these stupid things. To be fair I was not the easiest guy to make friends with, I went home to be alone in the breaks and I’m horrible at small talk. The classes turned out to be the same as in Iceland, the only times you got some freedom to express yourself was when you were asked to write about something very specific or when you were supposed to do a presentation (which I dreaded). There was also a lot of homework and teachers were very strict on it, but I seldom got myself to do it since I had no interest in the studies and had many things I’d rather use my time on. At the time I was questioning government, culture and reality so I had a lot on my mind. My stay in Canada probably could have been great if I had just accepted the school for what it was and played along with the social standards, but I just couldn’t get myself to do it at the time. I often felt confused and lonely and had no one to talk to, I wanted to go home. After half a year of school I decided to quit, I had heard enough different versions of the Canadian anthem which played every morning in school and my parents let me move back to Iceland to live with my grandmother. Their terms were that I would work through the summer and then then resume school in Iceland.

Back again

After the summer of working and reconnecting with friends, school started again. I knew I was only there because I missed home and school was something I had no interest in but it was the only reason I was allowed to move back in the first place. The plan was never to do well, I didn’t take it seriously and fell into the same pattern again. It was hard doing something I really didn’t care about and soon I realized this just wasn’t going to happen. I had things I wanted to learn and explore but I didn’t know how to, I just knew that school wasn’t helping me at the moment. I felt tired of not being allowed to pursue my interests so I quit school to try to learn on my own, with no plan or even an idea on how to go about this but I knew it was something I had to try. In the worst case it fails and I have to return to school, hopefully with a better image of what I want to accomplish. Then I heard about the idea of moving to Mexico and saw it as the perfect starting point for trying to educate myself on my on terms. So here I am.