ÞÓRDÍS - OPPORTUNITY

We have become friends with the Mexican family that we are renting from here in San Pablo Etla. They live only a couple of houses down the street and are wonderful people. The mother is a nurse who has been working more or less at home since the children were born and the father is a car mechanic who has his own company in Oaxaca City. Their children are 15, 10 and 3 years old, and through this family we are getting to know the village and culture better. The mother takes me with her to the market and shows me around the village. Their two sons come over here to play with Flóki and Þorri and their teenage daughter has come over for a math lesson with Kári. Together the two families have enjoyed several dinner parties and a trip to the city. Despite the language barrier we like each other’s company and feel that we share similar values.

As we were sitting together after eating Icelandic pancakes at our house one evening it became obvious to me that despite our commonality, there are fundamental differences in the opportunities and attitude of our children towards education and making a living.

This is what I wrote in my diary after that evening:

Eugenia told us that in about three years, after Arleth finishes High School, they will have to move from this town in order for her to have better opportunity of a good education. This conversation left me thinking about the difference in the lives of our two families. After they said goodbye we started talking about this and how fortunate Icelandic (and Danish, added Vasilis) teenagers are when it comes to education and job opportunities and how ungrateful they tend to be. Most Icelanders take it for granted that they should be able to go to school, get an education and choose from jobs. A lot of my students, for example, never seem to doubt their right to a good education. Some even think it is perfectly fair to waste years, living in their parents’ house and casually attending school when they feel like it. How spoiled we seem in comparison to the Mexican students who, like Arleth, feel the pressure of doing well in school since her parents are uprooting the whole family in order for her to get a chance of a better life. All around her Arleth sees young girls like herself who are stuck with babies, stuck in poverty and stuck in their village. The consequences of not studying are pretty obvious here. But what are the consequences for someone like my dear Kári who has wasted a couple of years without really either attending school or work? I cannot resist comparing the situation of these two families who moments ago seemed as equal while sitting around the dining room table. What about Kári? Eugenia had asked and I replied that he was interested in math and science, purposefully avoiding telling her that for the past couple of years he had barely taken any exams and was pretty lost in what he wanted to do with his life. I felt that admitting that would reveal the stark difference of our worlds. That he would come across as spoiled and unambitious and we the parents as way too lenient. After they left we talked about this. Vasilis had an interesting point of view since he in fact knows both worlds, the bleak outlook of many young Greek people who don’t see much chance of education making their future brighter and the privileged Danes who know they will always be provided for, no matter what. Kári does not say much, but I hope and think this has made him consider how fortunate he is and how important it is to take advantage of our opportunities.

Later, when alone, Kári and I talked about this and he brought up an interesting and important point. Namely that, while it is obvious that for young people here their only (or best) chance is trying to get a good education, the reality for young people in much of the Western world is that in many fields it is not the school education that determines how well they do. We are living in times where people are starting to take alternative routes towards carriers and jobs. In many creative and technological fields you are measured by your accomplishments, not your degrees, and people are gaining experience through work and self-education.

In addition, and on a slightly different note, Kári and I both wondered if getting a good job or carrier would necessary lead to happiness. Who is to say which one is happier, the Icelandic self-made computer scientist or the Mexican housewife in a small village of Oaxaca? Do we come to this project loaded with our own prejudice and value-judgements regarding what constitutes happiness, what defines poverty, what makes a person educated etc.?